
Postnatal depression- a curse with a little blessing
I have experienced depression in many shapes and forms since my teens. It has presented in so many ways. It can be be a dark slow creeping heaviness that has taken over slowly - its slyness catching me out as it slips over me while I have my back turned. It has also felt shuddering, sudden and painful. Each time I have been taken aback by it and not seen it coming. But each time I have also got through it, and come out the other side somehow. Each time I recovered, and in the

Reflections on postpartum psychosis and bipolar
Reflections on postpartum psychosis I want to start with a definition of postpartum psychosis as it is still a little known condition. (With thanks to Action on Postpartum Psychosis, a very good charity with whom I have been involved over a number of years.) It is a severe mental illness which begins suddenly after childbirth. Symptoms include: hallucinations and delusions, often with mania, depression or confusion. Over 1,400 women experience postpartum psychosis in the UK

I really do matter
I’ve been at Designs in Mind as a member for 10 months. I keep expecting someone at some point to turn on me. This has been my experience most of my adult life. Just when I get settled and confident into a job, scheme or project, the rug would be pulled from under my feet- my anxiety attacks and related health issues will multiply. Since attending Designs in Mind, I have slowly started to respect myself and found friendships with like-minded people. People here respect you

I was sure they were all thinking I wasn’t very good at anything
I`d always suffered with depression and anxiety since childhood although I was only diagnosed in 1985! My childhood left a lot to be desired, however that’s for another time perhaps. It was 2012 and I was preparing to move from Hampshire to Shropshire with a view to retirement in 2015, when my husband was diagnosed with cancer. As you can imagine it was a terrible shock to him and to all the family. On 29th October 2012. Only four weeks after diagnosis, my husband of 41 yea

I had to leave my job
My mental illness developed as a result of excess stress and pressure caused through my job. I was Ward Sister of a Paediatric Surgical Unit. After my breakdown I eventually had to make the hardest decision of my life. I had to leave the job I loved doing and a career that I had worked hard to train for. It took me almost two and a half years of counselling and treatment before I finally came to terms with the fact that I'd lost my job, and that I would never work with my fri

Go and take a happy pill
I've been lucky- fluoxetine (prozac) has changed my life. When events give us a knock we all dip in mood. The healthy mind comes back up again. The 'prone-to-depression-mind doesn't rebound naturally. It stays stuck at the lower level. The next normal kick from life pushes it to a lower level still and eventually over the edge into illness. Prozac seems to act like a safety net which stops the gradual descent and gives my mind time to recover back to normal. It never raises m

Self Stigma
We hear a lot about mental health stigma in society but how much is talked about self stigma? When battling for over a decade with various mental health conditions, it’s been hard to have a good self esteem in a world that doesn’t like to talk about our mental health. I am also physically disabled and so I use this as the reason to why I'm not in paid employment, when someone asks what I do for a living. I rarely feel comfortable enough to explain that I am only involved wi

Family called not at my request
Family, the people who you expect to support and love you, no matter what. So, then here’s a question for you, what happens, when your family turn their back on you in your greatest, darkest hour of need? That was my experience. I found myself suddenly surrounded by circumstances way beyond my control; surely, it’s the one’s you love that draw close by your side. I would have loved for that to happen. Rushed to hospital after attempting end of life, family were called not

What do we want to smash?
Many people are scared to talk about mental health. When we avoid talking about it, we’re basically pretending it doesn’t exist, it is something to be ashamed of and that reinforces the stigma. Language is powerful- context, intention and knowing your audience count for a lot in everyday chats. We hope to start a conversation and raise awareness about the impact of the language we use and the self-stigma that can stop people living life. We have been discussing Mental Health

I want you to know but I don't want to tell you
I have wanted to talk about my own experience of mental health challenges for a long time. I have been circling this blog post for weeks, as if preparing for a small battle. Looking at my lap top, open and ready while I take the longest time I can to finish my tea. Every so often something will creep out in conversation, I will let something slip about my own mental health. A tiny snapshot of the person you can't see. Then it disappears back inside. That darker creature, the