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I'm really pissing myself off

March 22, 2018

 

Since we launched our #SmashingStigma campaign many people from outside the studio have been in touch to share their story. Fanny Parker has shared this blog, her musical blog about how song writing has helped her…

 

I have a story. And it’s still unfolding. I write my chapters through song. My song writing is my therapy. I have lots of songs that reflect the hard times I’ve endured mentally during my 20's. I wrote to sort my head out. It was like therapy for me. Kept me sane at a time when I was battling.

 

 

I’m really pissing myself off

 

I’m really pissing myself off 

I can’t stop crying

the slightest thing can start me off

so tired of crying

I look so pale, I feel so thin

Withdrawn blood to test within

some call it stress

I call it mess

 

It’s a mess I can’t address

Coz I’m feelin pretty low

Get me high I can neglect

A time in my life which is now 

Get me out 

Get me out of this hole

It’s not my health

It’s not the break up

It’s not my wealth

It’s not my future

Which is concerning me

 

It’s a god dam combination

And it’s really, really getting to me

To the point, that I just want to break

Break out of this hole, I can’t breathe

Break out of this hole and just break free

This is my fault

I saw it coming

I was warned

 

But I didn’t believe it would happen to me

And now I’m crying in defeat at the sight of

me

Coz I’m in such a mess

 

I don’t know where to begin

To stop the crying

Get me out of this hole

God I’m so stressed!

I can’t sleep, the clock ticks

A bed creeks, I get up and look outside

It’s so still, it’s so cold

Then I see, a reflection of me

Blurred identity in clear cut glass

Looking hard, she’s looking back at me

I hear a voice saying, wake me please

Shake me break me

Take me from behind

The back of beyond

Coz it’s too dark for me

I can’t see clearly

 

I feel lower than I’ve ever been

So I need you to

Shake me break me

Shake me break free

Shake me, shake me

Wake me, slap me please

 

 

 

You can find out more about Fanny Parker on Facebook and Soundcloud

 

On February the 11th 2018 we launched a crowdfunding campaign. We want to start a conversation about mental health that is powerful. No more treading on eggshells. We are not invisible, We do not want to be hidden away. Our work in the studio and shop is #SmashingStigma every day, and now we are going to be a little noisier.

 

 

Smash It      Share It      Donate

https://smashingstigma.hubbub.net/

 

 

As part of the campaign we are also looking for more blogs about mental health stigma, so please get in touch if you have a story to share.